Hotarubi No Mori E: After
by Brunetteangel95
Summary: It's been four long years since the night I lost Gin... I am returning to Kyushu for the first time since that summer. My memories haunt me, but I have to be strong.. I return to our meeting place.. expecting to see an empty stair case.. "I'm back.. Gin.." "Um.. Do I.. know you?" White hair.. Grey Eyes... Sequel to Hotarubi No Mori E. Maybe not all is gone forever.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the sequel fan-fiction to Hotarubi No Mori E (Into the Forest of Fireflies). If you have not watched the animated movie, please go watch it. It is very good._

 **~Chapter 1: Returning to Kyushu~**

The warm air brushed against my face causing an unconscious sigh to escape my lungs. It's another Summer. The Summer of my first year in University. For most of my life, this was my favorite season. I had so many things I loved about it. The butterflies that flew gracefully through the air, the cool water that refreshed me, the green lush grass that felt wonderful under my feet, the festivals that excited everyone… but most of all… him…..

His face entered into my mind causing my heart to tighten. His white hair blowing in the night wind as I raced towards his glowing body.

 _I love you._ His voice is still clear in my mind. I can still feel the warmth that was in my arms before he disappeared. My Gin… The only person I ever loved.. Not a spirit and not a human.. but the most precious person to me.

 _When I graduate, I'm going to get a job here.. so that way I can be with you in the autumn, winter, and spring… always.. forever._

That was my plan.. I wanted to move to Kyushu, buy a house near the forest… Have a life with the one I love, but nowadays it's so hard for me to even think about going there… To be honest, I haven't been there since that summer.. years ago.

 _Gin…._

I walked into my parent's house, my mind in a blur as I fought with the memories of what used to be. I had told myself that I will look forward to the future, that I would be able to smile and be happy again… But I feel incomplete.. alone without him.

"Is he okay?" Mother's concerned voice caught my dazed attention. I followed the sound and entered into the kitchen where she stood holding her phone tightly to her face. Her face was shades paler than her usual color, her hand shaking ever so slightly.

"Yes… Yes… We will be on our way… Yes.. Yes.. Thank for informing me." Mother hung up the phone and let out a deep shaky breath.

"What is it?"

"Your uncle has become very ill. He is in the hospital…. Go and pack your things. We are going to Kyushu." My heart sunk whenever Mother told me the news, even more so when she said we are going back there.

"I-I.."

"Don't try to get out of this one, Hotaru. I don't know what happened a few summers back, but this is not the time to abandon your uncle…. You're Uncle's Inn is already having enough trouble as it is. He needs our help." I stopped what I was going to say and nodded my head. It's true. Losing Gin was years ago… and Uncle needs us now more than ever.

"… I'll go pack my things." My chest hurt as I walked into my room and began to pack my belongings. I reached underneath my bed to grab my travel bag. As I did, I could feel the edges of a box directly beside it. My breath caught in my throat as I pulled out the dark black box. A layer of dust covered the top, showing the amount of time it has been in solitude. Opening it ever so slowly, I could see the outline of the mask.. Gin's mask. It still looked exactly how it looked for all of those years. My hand founds its way to caressing the smooth surface of its cheek. Picking it up, I placed it against my lips. The same spot that he had kissed that summer. I now sat kissing that same place years later… Wishing that it could be him.

"I love you.. Gin." My voice softly whispered, my forehead against the forehead of the mask. I could feel the burning of the tears that were slowly making their way out of my eyes and down my face. "I'm going back… I'm going back to Kyushu… Back near the forest of the mountain god… I'm going back.."

The tears would not stop rolling down my face as I clutched his mask to my heart.

 _I miss you so much…!_

…

"Next stop Kumamoto. Next stop Kumamoto." The announcer's voice filled the bullet train as I stared out the window. My bag laid in my lap as I softly clutched it for some amount of strength. Even without the announcements, I would know where we are. This place that used to excite me so much.. That used to be the highlight of my years. The train grinded to a halt as a few people began exiting it.

"Hotaru.. Hotaru, this is our exit." Mother told me as I stood from my seat and exited the train. It wasn't long before we were at the inn. The sun was setting in the sky as birds continued to sing their melodies. I stared off unconsciously in the direction of the forest.

"We will visit your uncle tomorrow. For now, let's get some rest." Mother told me to which I merely nodded. I walked back into my old room and dropped my bags to the floor. The moment I was alone, all of my pent up sadness overflowed from me. I dropped to my knees and allowed myself to cry as the memories haunted me. Those sweet precious memories…. Haunt me.

"Gin…" I allowed myself to whisper his name as another round of sobs rocked my body. "I can never… forget you."

That night I cried myself to sleep.

…

"Yira… Hotaru.." Uncle's raspy voice said as he sat up in his hospital bed. He was much skinnier than in the past, deeper wrinkles set in his face showing his growing age.

"Brother, we received news that you were in the hospital.. We came here to help with the Inn until you get better…" Mother's sincere voice said as she sat next to him and placed her hand on his. Uncle looked at her in surprise before turning his attention to me. His face seeming to know of the pain that I am feeling. It was a fleeting look though. One that I barely was able to catch, before it was replaced with a smile on his face.

"Hotaru… It's been years since I have seen you. You have grown into such a beautiful young woman." I managed to smile at this. Even after these years, Uncle still hasn't changed.

"It's good to see you again, Uncle. I hope that you get to feeling better soon."

"Ah, this is nothing too serious. I will be released in no time. In the meantime, I actually hired a helper to look after the upkeep of the Inn.."

"A helper? I didn't see him yesterday when we stayed the night." Mother said causing Uncle to sigh.

"I tell him that he can stay at the Inn, but he is insistent on not staying there too long. He's a very nice man. I'm sure that you will see him this afternoon." Uncle responded before a round of coughs forced him to quit speaking.

"Okay, that's enough talking out of you.. You should rest." Mother's concerned tone ordered causing Uncle to silently obey. "Hotaru, return to the Inn. See if that boy is there already. I would like for him to know that we are staying."

I nodded in response while turning to exit the room.

 _If I stay busy, I will not think about it…_

As a neared the doorway, I could hear my Uncle softly call my name. I turned around in response to see him smiling.

"I'm glad that you are back… Summer hasn't been the same without you." His words, although meant to be kind and encouraging, stabbed my heart like a knife. Summer has never been the same; it will never be the same without him.

"Thank you, Uncle." I said as I tried my best to smile genuinely. I exited the room, my heart tight as I pondered over what I was going to do first…

 _Just stay busy…_

It wasn't long before I was back at the Inn. The birds sung their usual melodies, the fountain water bubbled in a beautiful harmony with nature. However, that was the only thing that I could hear.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" I called out in an attempt to find this mysterious worker. Unsurprisingly, no response came to me. I sighed slightly while walking around the house and entering into the different rooms… I was all alone.

"Maybe he was just delusional…" I mumbled unconsciously before grabbing a washcloth and preparing to clean the floors. "Okay, Hotaru… Time to get busy!"

With that motivation, I began a deep cleaning on the old Inn. The time seemed to fly by, yet drag on… I managed to clean everything up right before sunset. Mother still hadn't returned home, and I sat alone on the outside port, eating cool watermelon. My eyes kept wandering over towards the forest… My body feeling like I was being pulled towards it… Memories of my times with the spirits, with Gin, at the Spirit Festival… I loved all of them… As if in a trance, my feet began moving in the direction of the forest. The sweet familiarity soothing me as I walked along the path that time had failed to change. I breathed in the deep air and felt the peacefulness of nature around me. How I loved this feeling.. I knew where I was heading… To the entrance of that forbidden forest… To the place I always met with Gin… Yet, somehow, I couldn't stop myself. My feet, my body… they all yearned to go there. I closed my eyes, temporarily stopping myself as I prepared to turn the corner and see that familiar place. Taking a deep breath, I remembered his face.. the way he sat there waiting patiently, the way he told me to 'come' and would start walking ahead of me. I stared down at the ground as I entered into the opening. My head still down, my heart aching… He's not going to be here.

"I'm back…. Gin. It's been a few years… But… I'm finally an adult now." I closed my eyes, unable to look up.

"Um." A soft baritone voice said causing my eyes to open. "Do I… Know you?"

 _That voice._

My eyes panned up to the stair clearing, my heart beating violently in my chest.

 _Am I dreaming? White hair… Grey Eyes…. That's…_

"Gin…"

….

 **For those of you who have watched the movie Hotarubi No Mori e… Well, you know the ending. I personally did not like the ending and did not want it to end like that… Therefore, I am starting a sequel fan-fiction! YAY! This one will be much happier… hopefully.. I hope that you guys will tag along and that you will enjoy this new fanfic! Also, please bear with me as this is the first time I'm writing a fully first person viewpoint fan-fic.**

 **For those following: In Another Life, Beneath the Mask, Journey of a Lost Prince** **\- I am still working on each of those chapters… Some, I am having a writer's block and trying to figure out fully where I want to go with the story… Others, I'm just trying to find the time to write out. I will try to get** **In Another Life** **and** **Beneath the Mask** **uploaded sometime** **this weekend or next week** **!**

 ** _Please be patient with me. I am currently taking 16 credit hours in college/university, including Dance Team, Choir, and part-time job… Plus, homework and housekeeping for me and my Fiance's house. My schedule is very hectic during the week, but I am trying my best to update as soon as possible._**

 ** _For everyone who has reviewed my stories, Thank you so much! You have no idea how encouraging that is for me. Even if I do not respond, please know that I have read all of your reviews and they bring me great happiness!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"G-Gin…" My voice was soft, shaking ever so slightly as I stared at this man in disbelief. There he was standing on those same steps that we had met each and every summer. "GIN!"

My mind couldn't hardly catch up as my body raced toward him. I can hear his soft gasp as a look of panic and shock fills his features.

 _The curse!_ I barely manage to stop myself as my entire body skids to a halt. Before I knew what was happening, I had fallen backwards onto the ground, a painful tenderness shooting up my bottom and lower back.

"Ouch.." I mumble aloud, my face grimacing from the sudden shock.

"Um…. Are you okay?" His calm, beautiful voice asked, further guaranteeing that this is my Gin. I sat up, laughing out of a mixture of embarrassment and pure joy.

"Yeah. I'm fine… I am just really happy.. I thought I had lost you forever… If-If I had known that you were still alive… That you were still here… I would have come back…." Tears well up in my eyes as he gives me another confused look. He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead, he extends his hand out to me.

"Here… Take my hand. I'll help you up."

"I can't do that.. The curse…" I trail off as another look of confusion crosses his face. It was as if he knew nothing of a curse. "You cannot touch a human or you will disappear…"

Gin's face held even more surprise before falling into a resting smile. Before I can even move, he grabs my hand in his.

"Don't-" I start to say as his strong arms pull me up and into him. My body stiffens as I prepare for the glowing sensation to take over his body, but it never comes. His reassuring hands move me slightly away from him, an apologetic, slightly-sympathetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry… I'm afraid that I'm not the person who you were expecting… My name is Gin Ubashi. I am merely a normal person who just moved here from a neighboring city."

 _He… doesn't remember…._

"I'm sorry to disappoint you.. I really am… Especially when I see how happy that you were." His sympathetic tone was just how he always was when consoling me about friends who treated me wrongly or fights with my parents.

"No, It's okay... I-It was my mistake." I respond while bowing slightly. This seemed to set him at ease as a true smile flashes across his face.

 _He really can't remember me… Maybe this is what they meant by disappear forever… His memories?_

"What is your name?" He asks, sitting nonchalantly on the stairs. The orange and pink colors of the setting sun shimmered gorgeously against his pale skin and white hair.

 _It feels kind of lonely, but I really am happy… He's still alive.. So there is still hope._

"I'm Hotaru Takegawa. Nice to meet you." I answer as if this is the first time we have ever met. "I'm here visiting my Uncle. He has been ill here recently and so my Mother and I are here to take care of things at the Ninyoshu Inn."

"Your Mr. Ninyoshu's niece?"

"Yes, I am." I respond, holding my hands behind my back.

"I was recently hired by Mr. Ninyoshu to look after the upkeep of his inn. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to greet you when you arrived." Gin stands ceremoniously and bows apologetically.

"No, No. There is no need to act that way! Please, lift your head." I say causing him to obey. His face was slightly flushed out of embarrassment. I couldn't help but feel that he looked too cute that way.

"There really is nothing to apologize for. You were not expecting our arrival, and…. This forest is- It's hard to stay away from it." Wind softly runs through my hair as if welcoming me back to this familiar place. As I look over to Gin, he is staring straight at me. A strange look on his face.

 _He always used to wear his mask… But I wonder if this was how he looked at me every time we met with each other._

The moment didn't last long as Gin quickly averted his gaze and returning his attention to the forest.

"You are right about the forest being hard to stay away from… It's weird…. It's almost like the forest knows you." Gin mumbles before holding his hands to his head. "Ah, please don't listen to me… I say things that even do not make sense to me."

 _The forest knows you…._

"I guess you could say it does… I've been in this forest every summer since I was very small. I know it very well… The forest of the mountain god." For a brief moment, Gin smiles. His face just how it always was with me.

"Yeah… I can see that." He responds before beginning to walk towards me. "I get the feeling that the forest treasures you."

"…Not just me." My response stops him from saying anything further. He looks back at the entrance to the forest before returning his focus onto me. My heart beats loudly in my chest as he is so close to me. Close enough to touch, which, after all of these years, I am able to do.

"Shall we return back to the inn?" He asks me. I merely nod my head, the two of us then walk down the path towards the house.

 _It's best to take things slowly… I don't want to rush anything… I don't want to lose him again._

 _…_

"Hotaru! There you are! Where in the world have you been? I have been looking everywhere for you!" Mother's stern and concerned voice yelled causing me to slightly flinch.

"Sorry. I went to the forest trail where I used to always go as a kid." I responded only to hear a growl from mother.

"Don't scare me like that. With the condition you've been in since we have arrived here, I was worried you might just disappear…"

 _Disappear…._

"I'm sorry Mother. I didn't mean to scare you. I just really wanted to get some fresh air…. While I was walking the path I met the man who also works here for Uncle." Upon saying this, Mother finally looked behind me, now seeming to notice Gin who was standing there awkwardly. Instantly, Gin was on the ground, bowing apologetically.

"I apologize for the late introduction. I didn't realize that Mr. Ninyoshu was expecting visitors. My name is Gin Ubashi. I'll be in your care." His actions caused me to want to giggle. I couldn't help but wonder if this would be how he would have responded before he lost his memories.

 _Would he be this nervous if it was under different circumstances?_

"No, No. It's okay. We hadn't told him to be expecting us. Please lift your head." Gin obeyed, his face serious as he stood up.

"Oh my, you are very handsome." Mother added while placing her hand over her mouth. This caused Gin to blush ever slightly and look down at the ground.

"T-Thank you." His response was adorable, and just like him. I remember back to the time whenever I had very first seen his face.. The face behind his mask. I was so young then, but even back then he made my heart race in my chest. I was so clumsy, I ended up slamming his mask back on his face. It really surprised him.

Upon remembering the memory, I let out a slight giggle. This seemed to surprise both Mother and Gin as they turned their attention to me.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about something from my past… Don't mind me…"

"It's nothing to apologize for… I actually think your smile is very pretty." Gin responded, naturally, causing my cheeks to flush.

"T-Thank you.." I stammered. "I should actually probably be getting to bed…. It's been quite a day. Excuse me." I say while turning around to exit the room. As soon as I was around the corner, I leaned against the wall.

 _My chest is pounding so violently in my chest… Ah, I hope he couldn't hear my heartbeat.. I really wasn't expecting that._

"That.. was the first time that I have heard my daughter laugh since she was a teenager." I could hear mother's somewhat muffled voice say.

"Really?" Gin's voice sounded next.

"Yes… I think something happened while she was here… Ever since the summer of her freshmen year… She has never laughed…. She didn't show much emotion at all.. It's like a piece of Hotaru was left here that summer." My eyes misted when hearing Mother's explanation. I had never told her what happened.. I had never told her about Gin, about our love, about my loss. Before I could hear the rest of what they were saying, I left the hallway and went into my room. The door closed with a soft clink as I got dressed into my night clothes. The moonlight shimmered through my window, casting a blue glow all throughout the room. I laid back on the bed, my mind trying to grasp the entire situation… the events that happened this day… The fact that Gin is actually still alive…

 _Please.. Don't let this be a dream… Even if he doesn't remember me.. Please let me wake up and he still be here with me… Please._

I pray to whoever is listening as I close my eyes, feeling somewhat peaceful for the first time in years.

Little did I know that Gin was outside, staring up at the moonlight. His face holding confusion and straining to remember a memory which would not fully surface.

"Hotaru…." He mumbled to himself while squeezing his fist… "Why does that name… make my chest tighten so much? Why did her face cause my eyes to mist with tears? Why did hearing her say my name, cause my heart to skip a beat?"

…..

 **Here you guys go! The second chapter is finally out! First off, thank you guys so much for your messages and reviews! You guys make me so happy! Don't worry. I am not quitting this fanfic. I just started it! My updates might be a little slow due to my work load and my multiple different fics that I am working on, but I am continuing this fic. The only time that I really have available to work on stories is on the weekends, I work on them as much as I possibly can to get these updates out to you guys! Please be patient with me! :)**

 **I hope you guys are liking where it is going. He has no memories of his precious Hotaru.. She has all of the treasured memories.. Why doesn't he remember her? Can he remember her eventually?**


	3. Chapter 3

Light filtered through my room as the sounds of birds chirping slowly woke me from my sleep.

"Hotaru…." A soft, warm voice dances through the air completing the comforting atmosphere. "Hotaru… Wake up… The sun bids you goodmorning."

 _This voice…._ My eyes instantly flashed open as I sat up and looked in front of me. Tears filled my eyes when seeing him sitting there on the window seal. His white hair shimmering in the sun, like an angel's wings. He truly was my angel.

"Gin." My voice was soft, but didn't hide any of the emotions that I was feeling.

 _That's right… It wasn't a dream… Gin is alive… But he doesn't remember anything…_

"Goodmorning." He says with his usual kind smile.

"Good Morning…. Did Mother ask you to wake me?" Upon asking this question, I noticed Gin turn away. His cheeks seemed to have a tint of pink to them.

"No… I don't think she is awake yet."

"Then… Did you need something?" I asked this while moving closer to him. His blushing face turned towards me with unsure, but breathtaking, eyes.

"Something inside of me… Just really wanted to wake you… It was almost like… I had been dreaming of doing this for a long time… I'm sorry. I know that probably sounds ridiculous…. Please forget I said anything. I will go make some breakfast." Before I could say anything else, Gin had jumped out of my bedroom and ran off towards the kitchen area. I stood in the window, watching him until he disappeared from my view.

 _It was almost like…. I had been dreaming of doing this for a long time._

"Gin…" My chest felt tight, the knot in my throat almost stung as I began to cry. It was a strange cry. A cry of relief and joy, but also a painful cry knowing that he was fighting a battle inside himself. After I had finally settled down, I made my way to the kitchen area. Inside the kitchen stood Gin. He was wearing the same girly apron that my Uncle loved to wear and was fixing some omelets.

"I didn't know that you knew how to cook."

"Me either… I just kind of started doing what felt natural." He says as he flips the omelette perfectly. "Have a seat. I am nearly finished."

I sit and watch him as he quickly finishes up the meal and places it before me. He sits down next to me and waits in anticipation for me to try it. The way he looks at me makes my heart race. Somehow, I manage to take a bite of the food. Flavor bursts in my mouth making me smile.

"It's so warm… Just like you." I say without thinking. "I-I mean… It's really delicious."

Embarassed, I try to look away only to have him smile at me.

"I'm glad that you like it… I feel relieved." He says to me as he to takes a bite of his food. After breakfast, we both clean the plates and put them away together. I still take special care not to touch him as we do this.

 _If you disappear again… I don't think I would be able to handle it._

"I'm going to be going fishing today. Would you like to come with me?" Gin asks me, capturing me from my unpleasant thoughts.

"Y-Yes, I would love to." I say to him, a huge smile forcing its way on my face.

"Great!" He exclaims, excitement clear in his voice.

The birds continued singing their melodies as we walked down the familiar path. I watched as Gin stopped at the fork in the trail. One path led to the river; the other led to our meeting spot. He turns towards the mountain, his eyes holding a longing and confusion. I just stood there. What could I do? It didn't take long for him to seem to come back to his senses.

"You were right about the forest calling you… I feel it everytime I go fishing here." I don't know what to say to his comment and remain silent as he walks down the path that leads to the river. As we sit there silently fishing, I look over in the water. My eyes widen when seeing some of the spirits that we had known watching us from a distance.

 _They must be happy to see him back too. We all thought that he was gone forever._

"Ah! I caught one!" Gin's voice called out as I turned my attention to his fishing rod which was bending heavily towards the water. The man I love smiled brightly as he fought with whatever fish he was capturing. It seemed to be a big one as he was having trouble.

"H-Hotaru help me! It's going to pull me into the water at this rate!" He called out immediately causing me to take hold of the part in front of him. I heaved back with all of my strength as we both fought with the monster of a fish that was in the river. After a few moments, the fish was no longer strong enough to fight and came flying out of the water causing both of us to fly backwards. I braced myself for the impact only to feel something soft cushion my fall. Opening my eyes, I see his clothes chest and then his beautiful eyes looking down at me.

 _I I'm touching him!_

Instinctvely, I jump back.

"Gin, I'm sorry I touched you!"

I looked for any sign that he would start to disappear again, but it didn't come.

"I don't mind you touching me….. It actually makes me happy…" His honest comment caused my heart to skip a beat. It's true that I always wanted to touch him, hold him, and kiss him… But I knew we never could. For so long, I had kept my distance… It's natural for me now.. Especially after already losing him once… What if the curse returns…. I need to know what I need to do….

"This fish is huge! It will be amazing for dinner tonight." His voice was filled with happiness and glee as he picked the fish up.

 _I want Gin to always be happy…. I want him to continue smiling this way._

I looked over towards the area that the spirits were watching us. They were still there, seeming pleased with Gin's catch.

 _Maybe they will know more now… I don't want to lose him again…. Gin told me not to go alone, but now… I have to do this for him. To keep him safe._

My hands tighten into fists as I make my decision to return to the mountain.. alone.

….

 _Hotaru seems to be looking over in the direction of those trees a lot. I wonder if she sees something_ …. _She really is beautiful_ …..

I watch as her hair blows beautifully in the wind. For some reason, it seems like something I had seen many times over in the past…. But never got tired of seeing.

 _Why do I feel this attraction to her? It's true that she is beautiful… but it feels like so much more than that._

I put the fish up as I notice her small hands tighten into fists.

 _She's forcing herself…_. _Wait. Why do I just assume that she's battling with something? … It's not like I know her, so why do I feel that I do… She mentioned something about a curse yesterday, and She is always so worried when she accidently touches me too… But for some reason, It's her touch that I long for the most. I just want to take her hand in mine…._ I hope someday… I can.

 **Thank you so much for hanging in there! Here is updated chapter 3. I am hoping that you are liking it so far! I will try to update as much as I can!**


	4. Chapter 4

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for what I was about to do. It was something that Gin had instilled in me.. A teaching… A rule… Never go alone to the mountain... It is not a place for humans to travel without a guide.

"Not all spirits are kind, Hotaru... That's why you must be careful." His words echoed in my mind as I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my clothes.

"I'm sorry Gin... I have to do this." I know that I'm not talking to anyone. Instead, It's more to myself. I force my legs to move as I jump out of my bedroom window and head down the moon lit path. It wasn't easy to see anything, but I've travelled this path enough to do it blind folded. It doesn't take me long to enter the clearing. My feet stop moving.

 _It's such a strange feeling to not see Gin here…._ Shaking my head to free myself from reminiscing thoughts, I prepare to enter the forest alone.

"Come on Hotaru... You have to do this..." I take off in a run up the stairs and into the forest. I could feel the air change around me. This was a familiar feeling. However, unlike what I was used to, the forest was quiet. No spirits came to greet me like they used to before. No pranks from the mischievous ones. Instead, it was silent…. Almost felt empty… or…. Sad.

"Hello... Spirits, do you remember me? It's Hotaru... Gin's friend." I called out. Everything was silent for a moment before I felt the air change slightly.

"Human girl. It's not safe to be here alone." One of the spirits finally responded to me. It was a spirit I knew well from my time with Gin. Gin called her 'Nomi'. She was a kind spirit, a gently motherly type.

"Nomi... That's you, isn't it?" She didn't come out, but I could always recognize her voice. "I'm here to talk to you about Gin."

"There is nothing to speak of…. Gin no longer has a connection with this world..." She responded, her voice sounded sad.

"I wouldn't say that…. He still feels the calling to come here. I can see it in his eyes."

Nomi didn't say anything back.

"I…I thought that he would be gone forever… That I would never see him again…. I thought…. he vanished…" Tears began to blur my vision as I continued talking. I didn't know if Nomi was still there, but I figured the mountain itself could hear me.

"…. He did…." Nomi's voice was soft, but clear. I turned around to see her standing there. She was in the shape of a young woman who didn't look much older than me. Her eyes were a deep blue like the ocean, her hair black as night, her skin porcelain. I had never seen her in this form before.

"What do you mean?" I asked, still taken back by her beautiful appearance. The spirit walked over to me, her dark hair glistening even though there was hardly any light.

"He was supposed to disappear forever… But… Even the God of this mountain mourned for this loss. No one could accept that fate. Because of this, many spirits went to the top of the mountain to cry out. We begged and pleaded for days…. Our cries were heard. He brought him back to live as a human and not a spirit…. Though the price was his memories.." Her eyes looked downcast.

"What all did he forget?" The pain in her eyes was obvious even to me... I knew the answer just from her look alone.

"Everything. His entire life..." Her words were hard to choke down... I knew he lost his memories, but being told that by someone who knew him... It really made this real.

"Is there anyway to get them back?"

"No... In order to bring Gin back, the gods had to completely erase everything. In a since, he was reincarnated... but reincarnated to the age he was when he passed away..."

"This must be so hard on you..." I said without really thinking. Nomi looked at me with sad eyes.

"It's much harder for him…. He is the one who has to pretend everyday… Pretend that he knows his life.. Even though he knows nothing. What a cruel twist of fate that he would end up here again…."

Her eyes, a deep blue like the ocean, seemed to peer into the distance, as if she were searching for something.

"It was selfish of us to wish… to bring him back… But we couldn't just let him cease to exist."

"I think this is what he would have wanted… Gin.. He can finally touch people without fear of vanishing… He no longer has to feel lonely, because he is where he truly belongs… It's hard that he doesn't have any memories… But he can make more memories."

"Even if those memories are not with you?" Nomi's words caught me off-guard.

"Gin doesn't have that connection with you anymore. You are a stranger to him as well…. Except now, there are many other people who can take his attention away from you. If Gin were to find someone else to have his heart, would you still say what you are saying now?"

I could feel my chest tighten at her words. Images of him with different girls ran through my mind in a second causing me to clench my fist.

"I want him happy…" Was all I could get out as I thought about what she had said.

"…..Then perhaps…. I should tell you…. Since you, too, love him." I looked up when hearing her say this. Her eyes were even sadder than before. "Gin has a girl who has stolen his attention…"

All at once time seemed to stop for me.

"She's a girl who works in the town… She was one of the first humans that he met when coming here. In fact, she got him the job with your Uncle…. I've only seen her from a distance, but the way he looks at her… was how he used to look at you…"

It felt hard for me to breath when hearing what she was saying.

"W-Why are you telling me this?" I asked her, a knot in my throat.

"Because….. I know how you feel…. But you were the one who used to make Gin happy…. I… I didn't want you to be caught off guard if she came to visit…. Hotaru… If this girl makes Gin happy…. Please… Don't try to take him away from her… I didn't try to take him away from you."

Realization dawned on me when hearing what she had to say.

"You.. You loved-"

"More than anything in this world… But…. I wanted him to be happy.. I hope you can accept this too…."

With that she disappeared into the wind, leaving me with mixed emotions.

 _A new girl… I have never thought of that possibility._

The walk back to my house was long and unbearable.

"Can I let another girl… Have Gin… MY Gin…" I whispered to myself. Images of our days together flashed before my eyes as tears began to fill them. I thought about his cheerful smile and the way he used to hold onto the sash with such a gentle touch that made me want to hold him so close. I thought of the way he used to say my name and look at me like I was the only thing he could see. I thought of our first and only true date. I thought of the feeling of him disappearing in my arms…

 _Can I watch him disappear again? Can I bear to lose him again?_

…..

I couldn't sleep that night… All my thoughts were focused entirely on the situation. If it's true what Nomi said, how will I react? How can I react?... I hope that she doesn't show up for a long time. I hope that I will have time to prepare.

I sat there watering the plants out in the front yard when I heard footsteps approaching from behind me.

"Excuse me." The soft, gentle voice of a woman called causing my heart to drop. I turned around to see a gorgeous young woman with long, wavy, light-brown hair, light green eyes, and porcelain skin. She was wearing a flowy pink dress and sun hat. She smiled sweetly at me as the wind flowed through her hair.

"Hello, can I help you?" I managed to say, as my heart began to pound loudly in my chest.

"By any chance, is Gin working today?"

Before I could answer, the sliding door slammed open.

"Keirie!" Gin's excited, welcoming voice called in a way I always wished he would call mine. I sucked in a breath as I heard his footsteps quicken.

Then…. before my eyes, like a movie in slow motion, I watched him run past me and pull her into his arms. His smile… a smile that I had only seen once… Those eyes… That look I had only seen when he was vanishing… When he told me "I love you".. That same expression… They were all… Towards Her…

 _I love you…._

In that instant, my world…. _Crumbled._

 **My dearest readers,**

 **Thank you so much for your patience. I have returned after a semester in hell… Thankfully, now College and Musicals do not own my soul so I can return to this fanfiction. I hope that you liked this new chapter… I have a feeling I'm going to be getting some hate.. Maybe some bombs thrown at me so please excuse me while I go hide in my secret bomb-proof shelter. Thank you all for your reviews and your follows and your support! ^_^**

 **Until next time my wonderful readers!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Is Gin working today?" I would know that voice anywhere. Jumping up from where I was sitting, I rushed and opened the door. There she was, smiling happily… A little bashful, but full of grace and beauty. Without thinking, I raced up to her and hugged her tightly.

"Keirie! I've missed you!" I say in excitement. I can hear her laugh as she wraps her arms around me. I was about to continue my conversation when the sound of a water can falling to the ground caught my attention. Turning around I see Hotaru. She has a weird look on her face, a look of hurt. Upon seeing this, I instantly let go of Keirie.

"Hotaru…" I find myself saying before I can catch myself. This only seems to make her face stiffen even more. _Why… Why is my heart feeling like this?_

"Do you two know each other? I've never seen her working here before." Keirie says causing me to look over at her. She looked curious and slightly concerned.

"Ah… She's-"

"My uncle is the owner… He collapsed not too long ago and my mother and I came here to help with the inn. I met Gin a few days ago." Her voice seemed calm and collected, but for some reason… I knew better. _Something inside me wants to pull her in my arms_ … _Ah… Why? Why did I just think that?_

"I see…" Keirie sounded relieved as she grabs ahold of me. For the first time, I wanted to shake her off…. But I fought the urge. "If it's not too much trouble, could I steal Gin away from you for today?"

Hotaru was silent, but after a moment, she put on a smile.

"Of course."

My chest tightened.

 _She's forcing herself. If I leave she's going to cry! She's going to cry alone! No! Don't leave! Please, don't leave her alone! I… I…_

I drowned the voice that was screaming in my head and fought to put a smile on my face.

"Then I will see you this evening, Hotaru. Thank you." I said before turning to Keirie. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, Please!"

Her face instantly lit up in a way that always makes my heart flutter, only this time.. It didn't.

…

Everything inside of me wanted to scream, "Don't go!". His back facing me, his arms linked with another woman. It was heart wrenching. I had waited so long… so long. I had yearned for that same touch for so many years. WHY?! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!

As soon as they were out of sight, my knees buckled and I crouched down on the ground crying. He looked so happy. That smile.. There is no doubt about it. He loves her…

 _"If it's not too much trouble, could I steal Gin away from you today?"_ The way she grabbed onto his arm and the way she looked at me.. The message was clear.

 _Gin is mine_. Is what she was saying to me.

I wanted to yank her by her pretty little hair and tell her that he has been mine long before she came into the picture. I wanted to pull him away and run back to the mountain where we had spent all of our time. I wanted to remind him.. I wanted him to remember… That he loved ME and I loved HIM. That WE were always wishing to do EXACTLY what he was now doing with her.

 _Hotaru… If this girl makes Gin happy…. Please… Don't try to take him away from her… I didn't try to take him away from you._

Those words were the only thing that kept me from doing just that. He looked happy. The few days that I have been with him. He hasn't once shown me that smile. He hasn't once called my name like he called hers. He didn't light up when seeing me. He was Gin… But he wasn't Gin…

"It hurts." I whisper into my knees as I use them to hide my face that is streaming with tears. "It hurts so much, Gin."

…

"So I was thinking that we could go to the movies first. There is this movie that I have been dying to watch." Keirie's cheerful voice filled my ears as she cheerfully held my hand. The town wasn't nearly as crowded as usual; however, I felt like I was suffocating for some reason.

"What is the movie about?" I ask trying to make sure that I give her the attention she deserves. She was the first person I met whenever I first came here, but even she doesn't know.. That I have no memories.

"It's about a guy who lost his memories and completely forgets his first love."

I immediately stop when hearing this, my heart feeling that same uncomfortable pang.

"Completely forgets his first love?"

"Yes." She looks up at me with even more excitement, when seeing that it has caught my attention. "The synopsis said that he lost his memories and moved away only to meet her again by chance. She remembered him, but he had no memories of her. It's a tragedy so I'm expecting to cry so much."

For some reason, the image of Hotaru standing there alone fills my mind.

 _First love…. Memories forgotten… Remembers him…_

"Gin?" Keirie's concerned voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay? You have been acting strange since you saw that girl."

"I'm fine. I'm just a little tired. I'm sorry for troubling you. That movie sounds really interesting. Shall we go watch it?" My girlfriend merely nodded as we headed towards the theater.

The theater wasn't nearly as packed as I was expecting. This would have been the perfect time to hold Keirie's hand… But I didn't. I just sat there watching this movie… A movie that pulled my heart. The young man meets her again, she looks like she wants to rush up to him and hug him, but she holds herself back. The man, who forgot his memories, meets another woman. I can feel my heart tightening. Am I forgetting someone important? Did I have a lover before I forgot my memories? I watch as the young man falls in love with another woman. He's walking away with her as his old lover watches with a smile on her face. _THAT LOOK!_ The old lover and Hotaru's face come into my mind. The narration over the scene said something that made tears fill my eyes.

"Be happy… My One and Only Love." For some reason, I saw Hotaru's face when hearing those words. The remainder of the movie was the old love looking after the new couple as they got married. It was her becoming sick and battling the illness by herself… It was her dying… and as she was about to breathe her last. She whispers to the empty room.

"I wish you would have called my name… one last time."

My eyes filled with tears, tears that I couldn't stop.

 _Hotaru.._ _Why was she continuing to come into my mind? It's not like we know each other. It's not like she knew me before I lost my memories. She would have told me… This isn't a movie! But…. But…_

"You really got into that movie." My girlfriend says as her small finger wipes away my tears.

"It was a beautiful story." I respond before wiping my eyes and standing up. "Shall we go eat?"

"Yes! I want curry!"

"Okay. Okay." I chuckle, hiding the fact that my mind was in utter turmoil.

 _I'm just being paranoid._ I tell myself as I try to enjoy the remainder of my date with Keirie.

 _If she knew me.. She would have told me…. Right?_

….

I didn't want Gin to accidently come back to the Inn and see me crying… So I left. I found myself back to where it all began, sitting on the steps of the staircase that led to the spirit filled mountain. The breeze blew around me, as if trying to comfort my heart. I look down at the mask in my hands. Before I left, I went to my room and grabbed it… It was the only thing that I thought to do. I had to have Gin with me. I had to feel this mask…

"You know, Gin. I'm really happy that you get to live your life free. You get to touch as many people as you want. You get to experience love again. I'm happy for you. I really am." Tears blur my vision as they fall and land on the mask. "But… I miss you.."

This mask held all of our memories… It was the only thing that let me know that Gin truly was real. That what we had all those years was real.

 _I love you._ Those words he whispered as I felt him disappear… Now he was disappearing, but in a completely different way.. Would he ever say it again? Would he ever remember? Would he ever feel… Love towards me.

"Gin…I… I… I love you. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT! YOU STUPID IDIOT! GOING AND CATCHING A FALLING KID WHO WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HURT FALLING TO THE GROUND! DISAPPEARING AND REAPPEARING AND NOW DISAPPEARING RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES! BUT.. BUT.. THROUGH ALL OF THIS… I STILL LOVE YOU! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! EVEN IF YOU NEVER REMEMBER ME AGAIN! EVEN IF YOU NEVER LOVE ME!...Because… Because… You have always been the light in my life. My whole world was grey... unless you were there. It's been grey ever since you left, but just seeing you again.. The world has color again. Only you can do this to me.. That's why… That's why… I won't take away your happiness. I will just watch… I will let you be happy. But I will never stop loving you. I will never forget about what we used to be." I hold the mask to my heart as painful sobs rack my body. I had to say it.. I had to let it out, so that way I can act.. So that way I can smile when she is around. I had to say everything, everything to this mask… This mask that now holds more secrets.

"Did you hear Gin's cries too? Did Gin ever talk about me to you?" I ask the mask. "Did he ever cry? Did he want to see me? Was he ever scared? What faces did he make when seeing me? I didn't get to see them much, but you did… Did he look at me like he looks at her? Was that expression that I saw that night, an expression he always had?"

I didn't return to my room until late that night. I placed the mask back in the box and lay down on my bed.

 _Tomorrow, I will act like nothing is wrong. For Gin's happiness, I will try to forget that the two of them are the same…. I will tell myself that Gin.. is still gone. For Gin's sake… I will become a stranger._

….

 **And the latest chapter is up! :D I hope that you enjoyed it. I just love writing angsty moments! Hehe.. Though, I think that I may end up getting quite a bit of hate throughout this story. :P Thank you all for your comments! It always gives me so much encouragement and inspiration. Yes, I am continuing this fanfiction. It's a slow process, since I have multiple fanfictions on top of my own Webtoon that I am making. However, I love this story, and I want to give readers and new story with these two. So don't worry. I am continuing it. ^_^ I'm sorry that it takes me so long to update it. I guess I have too many stories with different fandoms. LOL. Also, I'm going to be getting married in 3 weeks! Super excited and nervous! I may be able to update when on my way to my honeymoon though. I have a long flight and a 6 1/2 hour layover in one of the cities. So it will give me plenty of time to write. lol. Anyways, Thank you for reading and supporting. I hope you like it! :)**


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